We’ve had both kids at home for 12 days. It was Spring Break. I forgot how hard it can be with two kids in the home all day.
Things go well with two kids 4.5 years apart, until they don’t.
Then, before you know it, it’s “You’re so annoying” and “You’re making me mad” continually coming from their not so innocent mouths. And I realize, with a lot of mommy guilt, that they’ve heard me say similar things to them as well this past week.
If only they got along…
If only they did just what I wanted…
But perfect kids don’t exist. Am I right? I am trying my best to remember that I shouldn’t expect so much from them. In fact, it is good to remember that in my mid 30s I struggle too. I have bad days too. The difference is that they are 7 and 2. They don’t even have fully developed frontal lobes to help them make better decisions.
{Ugh, so what’s my excuse?}
I often place a lot of responsibility on my seven year old’s shoulders. I find myself often telling her, “You’re older, you should know better”. It’s the same thing I was told as a child. And I hated it.
#OldestChildProblems, right?
So now I am committing to some new ways to combat sibling rivalry and communicate better with the kids:
- Distraction – a frequent thing I have been doing in our home is to direct the kids with a different activity. Or I say, in the car, look out your windows and count animals.
- Team building – I remind the kids both about the importance of siblings and family. I tell them they’ll be each other’s best friend always — for life. I remind them how much they love each other. I encourage them to apologize, pray together, and hug.
- Letting them work it out – backing away and letting them “fight it out” sometimes works. I feel like it helps them in conflict resolution skills. Mostly, this tactic is for the seven year old. The two year old basically drives us all batty!
I am daily trying to deal with these kids in a more calm manner. I want them to see me keep my cool and hopefully they’ll copy my good behavior. Buts it’s hard. In the words of my two year old, “really, really hard.”
If I only had more patience this parenting thing would be a whole lot easier!
I must not forget to pray!
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9
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I’m a big proponent of letting the kids work it out! They think I’m hard of hearing, which is kind of funny since I have ears like a bat. Of course, if the situation escalates to the point that things get physical, then I step in. Most of the time, my kids figure out a compromise. It also helps me to keep my blood pressure down!
That’s a great idea, Dede. I think I step in far too much – but usually it is because the noise is stressful. I should just take my own time-out and let them figure it out more often.
So timely with Summer ahead of us! This is great.
Oh my boys are 2 years apart and fight non stop. I often try and let them work it out but usually ends up one in a head lock by the end. But it will a few of these tips and the prayers “)