Do you ever get blogging ideas late at night when you can’t sleep? Then, when you wake up you cannot remember all the brilliant, witty, pertinent things you wanted to write about? Well, last night was one of those nights. But lucky for you, I remember! 😉
I was thinking about this blog I read last night by Helene (a funny mommy blogger I enjoy reading). She wrote about how she felt like she was missing the “mothering” gene at times. I related to that. Some mothers just cannot wait to have another child. They see babies and pregnant women and miss “those days”. I do not fall into that category. I love Isabella more than my own life, but the thought of having another newborn, well, frankly it is unappealing (that is stating it nicely). The only reason I would have another baby, at this point, is for her – so she won’t be “alone”. Does that make me a bad mother? Do I lack that certain “mommy gene“? I sure hope not.
One thing I remember when Isabella was a newborn is the MANY people who told me to enjoy that stage. “It doesn’t last long“, they would say. “This is the easy part“, they would tell me over and over again. I would look at them nodding in appreciation, but inside I would be thinking, “Please shut up. You have no idea what you are taking about. Come over at 2 am and then tell me this is easy.” Well, I only do this every decade or so, so here it is, “I was wrong, they were right.” That was the easy stage. I could lay her down and she would sleep 3 times a day. I had so much time to finish her scrapbook, make handmade cards, read great books and nap. But did I take advantage of that time? Nope. Now? Not so easy. Stubborn, impatient, independent, and somewhat undisciplined (I mean, when will she realize that no means no?) is where we are right now. (Not to mention smart, funny, energetic, loving, and helpful, but this post is not about that, okay?) Then I realize those are all still some of my worst faults and I am 30! Oh Lord, help me! I don’t want to raise a miniature LaVonne, I want to do even better (I know, I know, how much better can you get?:)). And I realize more than ever the utmost importance of being a mother. It IS the most important job in the world! Which humbles me even further and I know beyond a doubt that without the help of God, I would fail miserably.
This post was written for the weekly meme over at Moms The Word, Making Your Home Sing Monday. Head over there and participate, you will be blessed!